The other day I was channel surfing and came across the greatest show in television history, that's right, The Dick Van Dyke show. Now I think this is the greatest show ever for a variety of reasons: hilarious comedy, timeless stories, superb writing, chemistry of the actors and the sweet innocence of its time. I also love the show because I literally grew up watching it. I can remember walking home for lunch from St John's grade school and watching it while I ate a delicious feast my Mom had prepared for me of bologna and cheese sandwiches on white bread with potato chips, those were the days. The Dick Van Dyke show has always made me laugh out loud, even to this day I still think it's the funniest show in television history. So I had to stop and watch what Rob and Laura and Richie Petrie were up to that day.
So this episode is the one about the ducks. Rob brings home 2 baby ducks, much to Laura's chagrin, to keep until they can find them a home. Their son, Ritchie (about age 7), hears the ducks quacking in the box and begs his parents to keep them. Rob and Laurie agree to try to work something out by keeping them in the garage for awhile and Richie names them Stanley and Oliver. After the commercial break we see that time has passed and Oliver has died. Stanley is fully grown now and floating in the kitchen sink. One morning Rob notices that Stanley is shaking and losing feathers and he fears the duck is sick. Rob takes Stanley to the veterinarian (the scene in the waiting room of the Vet is hysterical) and returns home without Stanley. Rob has to tell Richie that the Vet said Stanley was sick because he belongs in a lake with other ducks so that is where Rob took him. Richie, of course, is very upset. He runs to his room and begins to pack because he is going to leave home to "live with Stanley at the lake". Now I have seen this episode and recalled the jest of it but I did not remember the tender, poignant last scene of the show. In the last few minutes, in simple yet profound words, Rob explains to Richie what real love is: "Love is not holding on to someone because it makes you feel good, love wants what is best for the other. Ducks need to be with ducks." Richie realizes it would be "selfish love" to make Stanley live in their kitchen sink when he would be happier and healthier in a big lake with other ducks. I have to say, it totally choked me up.
I'm wondering if maybe our life experiences and the lessons we learn through time about "letting go" are the reasons I never appreciated the wisdom of that scene before. Or maybe I mistook sentiment as love earlier in my life instead of realizing it's true sacrificial nature. Or perhaps I was just busy gorging my face with bologna and potato chips and Ho Hos! My husband and I took the last of our 3 little "ducks" to college last August (my blog profile picture was taken that day) and it's been a steep learning curve each time we have let one go. Some days I long to hear the piano pounding out "Hallelujah" for the millionth time, I'd love to clean up a skillet that she used to make those ridiculous chocolate chip pancakes in, I wouldn't even mind closing her bedroom door to hide the clothes and shoes strewn about. Somehow, when you're in the middle of homework and carpools and tennis meets and piano lessons and sleepovers, you feel like it will never end, deep down maybe you sort of hope it will never end. Then one day you're trying to figure out what the heck FAFSA is and packing every toiletry and article of clothing they will ever need as if you won't see them again for years. And then the day comes, you load up the car and make sure they know how to get to their classes and help get their books and hug and kiss them good-bye and then you put them "in the lake with the other ducks" before you drive away. It's good and it's right but it's not easy. Motherhood has been a great privilege in my life, I am very grateful but the older I get the more I realize it's not so much about me. Love, in a nutshell, isn't about possessing but is simply willing the good of the other. Thanks TV land. Thanks Rob and Laura and Richie Petrie. Thanks God, for the beautiful gifts of life and love.
Now swim little "duck", swim.
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